so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
