I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Buhtt sex?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
