Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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