I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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