I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
