We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
