Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
