i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
