at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
