Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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