i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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