your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
