dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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