you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
