she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
