So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
