I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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