My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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