Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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