The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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