Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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