I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
