Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
