he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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