How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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