That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize