weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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