You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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