DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
