She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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