They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
