why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
