Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
