it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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