Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
