Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
