I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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