i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
