How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
