HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
