I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
