Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
