I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
her facebook's as public as her vagina
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
