did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
