It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
