how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
