Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
ttyl tear gas
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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