It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
