No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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