You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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