I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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