My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
