I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
