ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
