my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
