I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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